Today I have it in me to write. I have felt completely unbalanced this week so I sought out some inner wisdom and I felt an overwhelming need to just write. Some things have been troubling me lately and I am finding myself going back to one of my coping mechanisms: control. When I feel as if I am not in control I tend to try to control more, and I can feel it within every ache of my body. From my tense jaw, rigid shoulders, and tight back. I lose my balance, my vision, my clear mind… I came to a realization this week during a yoga class, that there is a difference between being present in the moment and being in control of the moment. I always thought in order to be here, to be conscience and aware, that I had to take control of the reigns. To me, this couldn’t be any farther from the truth. In order to be “here” and present in the moment, I need to be just that. I need to not think about what has already passed, and to not worry about what will happen in the future. I was told that when I am thinking about the future, or preparing myself of a future event, that I am trying to be in control. Learning to just let things be is turning out to be just as difficult as it is easy. It is simple enough as letting go of the reigns, which in turn is the hardest thing to do. Today I will focus on keeping my life in a neutral position. Just that, to just be.

On another note, I learned something interesting about my ancestor’s today. My aunt has been researching our ancestry for well over a year now and I learned that a large portion of my ancestor’s were from Norway. What makes this so interesting, is Norway has been one of the few countries I have always wanted to travel to. Something has been pulling me to see the beauty of this country and the urge to want to see Norway is now more compelling than ever. I will of course have to get over my fear of flying if this is ever going to be a reality. More shall be revealed…